Not Even Holy Water Can Fix This

None of this makes since and it could mean a lot of things. What it is, is how I feel, no one know the whole story, I don't even know it all anymore, but what I do know is I messed up and lost something I wanted and loved more than anything and for that I'm sorry. I do believe everything happens for a reason, but damn if it doesn't suck sometimes.


I said I loved you
I hurt you
I hate myself
I cut you deeper than you ever cut me
And you've cut me pretty damn deep

You hate me
I don't blame you
I don't deserve you
Your forgiveness
Your love
Yet I beg
Beg like a lost dog
Looking for food

Lay here and bleed
The once white floor
Stained a rare golden red
I can't stand the fact I hurt you
So I hurt myself?
For every night, every mistake I've ever made

I said I loved you
I still do
Always will
Yet I know
You never will

I can say sorry a million times
But I don't expect you to believe me
If I could take it back 
I would
Not a day has gone by that I haven't cried
Not because I lost you
But the reason behind it all

I said I loved you
I hurt you
I hate myself
I am sorry 
Until the day I die
I swear my last words
to you will remain the same...

Amber R. Roan