What Remains, Is Nothing

Surrounded by the lies I've told
Drowning in the words you spit out
The smell of sin and regret lingers in the air everywhere I go
I can't close my eyes without seeing the mistakes I've made like it's all painted on my eyelids
Red stains on the floor 
The razor still sitting there
I'm looking for anything to cause me pain
Searching for answers 
But I'll I'm finding are the pieces that have broken off of me
Too shattered and torn to put back together
I never used to understand when people would say, 
"You can always see who you really are in the mirror"
But now I can't look at myself with out tears falling on the floor
Surrounded by the lies I've told
Drowning in the words you spit out
Who have I become


Amber R. Roan

Not Even Holy Water Can Fix This

None of this makes since and it could mean a lot of things. What it is, is how I feel, no one know the whole story, I don't even know it all anymore, but what I do know is I messed up and lost something I wanted and loved more than anything and for that I'm sorry. I do believe everything happens for a reason, but damn if it doesn't suck sometimes.


I said I loved you
I hurt you
I hate myself
I cut you deeper than you ever cut me
And you've cut me pretty damn deep

You hate me
I don't blame you
I don't deserve you
Your forgiveness
Your love
Yet I beg
Beg like a lost dog
Looking for food

Lay here and bleed
The once white floor
Stained a rare golden red
I can't stand the fact I hurt you
So I hurt myself?
For every night, every mistake I've ever made

I said I loved you
I still do
Always will
Yet I know
You never will

I can say sorry a million times
But I don't expect you to believe me
If I could take it back 
I would
Not a day has gone by that I haven't cried
Not because I lost you
But the reason behind it all

I said I loved you
I hurt you
I hate myself
I am sorry 
Until the day I die
I swear my last words
to you will remain the same...

Amber R. Roan

A Sweet Addiction (Addicted)

I can't walk with out you by my side
Not that you are my crutch, but
You have become my drug
You take me so high
I'm floating with the stars
You give me a feeling like no other
A feeling I crave

When I look into those eyes, those perfect gorgeous eyes
I get lost, I feel like I can fly
Fly away with me?

Your skin on mine makes me feel so damn alive
Your kiss sends chills
I can't breath, I forget how
You take the breathe right out of me
So breath your life into me?

Just a simple touch makes my heart race
Beating like a drum 
Your's is the melody
And together we make a sweet song

Take me by the hand
I feel like a kid again
Like I can take over the world
And set fire to everything 

When you leave I crash
Like I've fallen to the floor, too weak to move
You are a sweet addiction,
just can't get enough
Craving that feeling you give me, craving you, craving us
You have become my drug and there is no such thing as too much 

7.12.11

Amber R. Roan