But To Me You Were Perfect

Here's where it ends
No putting it back together again
It's all over for us


It's wasn't right from the start
Now it's torn us apart
Left us here for dead


There is no picking it up from where we left off
Trying to mend it back
Cause' were both in different spots


It was love at first sight
Now there is nothing but spite
We both wallow in our pain


Two wrongs don't make a right
But damn if doesn't feel good
To see the other cry


We said forever a thousand times
But I guess our ambession had us blind
Cause forever is never
Everything has to come to an end
Only Jesus can die and rise again Amber R. Roan Sept. 3, 2011

Numb

It doesn't hurt to touch the thorn of that deep scarlet rose
A small prick to my finger, bring a tear shaped drop
Of sweet crimson gold
Like my finger cries form the pain
Yet, not a single thing was felt
Numb to all, as if my nerves are tired and sleeping Amber R. Roan Oct 20, 2010

You Can't Run Forever

Riding down the interstate
Watching the cars race by
I picture myself standing on top of the world
Just watching it burn
Burn to impotent ash
You ignoring it until it gets too close for comfort
Then you run, don't try to put it out, just run
Don't look back, it might see you trying to run away
Why play with the flame
When it so easy to make it go away Amber R. Roan 7.12.11

If you could forgive me maybe I could breathe

I can see how much you hurt
I know sorry will never be enough
If I could turn back time
I'd fix what I messed up
Mistakes made, lessens learned 
I gained more than I lost
But nothing I want 
I can't deal with the pain and the hurt
Not mine, but yours 
And I know sorry will never be enough  Amber R. Roan Nov. 13, 2011

What Remains, Is Nothing

Surrounded by the lies I've told
Drowning in the words you spit out
The smell of sin and regret lingers in the air everywhere I go
I can't close my eyes without seeing the mistakes I've made like it's all painted on my eyelids
Red stains on the floor 
The razor still sitting there
I'm looking for anything to cause me pain
Searching for answers 
But I'll I'm finding are the pieces that have broken off of me
Too shattered and torn to put back together
I never used to understand when people would say, 
"You can always see who you really are in the mirror"
But now I can't look at myself with out tears falling on the floor
Surrounded by the lies I've told
Drowning in the words you spit out
Who have I become


Amber R. Roan

Not Even Holy Water Can Fix This

None of this makes since and it could mean a lot of things. What it is, is how I feel, no one know the whole story, I don't even know it all anymore, but what I do know is I messed up and lost something I wanted and loved more than anything and for that I'm sorry. I do believe everything happens for a reason, but damn if it doesn't suck sometimes.


I said I loved you
I hurt you
I hate myself
I cut you deeper than you ever cut me
And you've cut me pretty damn deep

You hate me
I don't blame you
I don't deserve you
Your forgiveness
Your love
Yet I beg
Beg like a lost dog
Looking for food

Lay here and bleed
The once white floor
Stained a rare golden red
I can't stand the fact I hurt you
So I hurt myself?
For every night, every mistake I've ever made

I said I loved you
I still do
Always will
Yet I know
You never will

I can say sorry a million times
But I don't expect you to believe me
If I could take it back 
I would
Not a day has gone by that I haven't cried
Not because I lost you
But the reason behind it all

I said I loved you
I hurt you
I hate myself
I am sorry 
Until the day I die
I swear my last words
to you will remain the same...

Amber R. Roan

A Sweet Addiction (Addicted)

I can't walk with out you by my side
Not that you are my crutch, but
You have become my drug
You take me so high
I'm floating with the stars
You give me a feeling like no other
A feeling I crave

When I look into those eyes, those perfect gorgeous eyes
I get lost, I feel like I can fly
Fly away with me?

Your skin on mine makes me feel so damn alive
Your kiss sends chills
I can't breath, I forget how
You take the breathe right out of me
So breath your life into me?

Just a simple touch makes my heart race
Beating like a drum 
Your's is the melody
And together we make a sweet song

Take me by the hand
I feel like a kid again
Like I can take over the world
And set fire to everything 

When you leave I crash
Like I've fallen to the floor, too weak to move
You are a sweet addiction,
just can't get enough
Craving that feeling you give me, craving you, craving us
You have become my drug and there is no such thing as too much 

7.12.11

Amber R. Roan

Don't Let Go

I don't want to get attached 
Just to let go, just to watch it fall 
But those eyes, they have me mesmerized 
Where they take me I'll never understand, a world all on it's own
The beat of your heart is my new song
I don't want to fall for you
Just to fall on my face again
But something tells me you'll catch me before my feet ever leave the ground
I don't want to play in the water and get in too deep
But you are pulling me in
And I just can't compete with the force of your gravity  
So if I say yes
Will I feel remorse 
You are my sweet taste of sin
Just one touch will never be enough 
Just something about you has me drawn in
Would you take me by the hand?
But I don't want to get attached 
Just to let go, just to watch it fall

7.17.11



Amber R. Roan

As She Spread Her Wings

Look at this old photograph
And memories come back
You have always been beautiful
Too think you are dressed in white
More beautiful than before
Makes it that much harder to believe
Just moments ago it seems as if you were here but
Who knew when they said "it could be gone in a blink of an eye" it could be so true, that it would be you
As we search for words behind our tears
You look down on us
Flying with all the angels
Bowing down at God's feet
And we try to find the breath to speak
It's so hard to believe you're not here
In this silence we can almost hear you sing
Feeling so numb
Our hearts break
As we think of that sweet smile
It’s just hard to see the fairness in it all
Look at this old photograph
And know the memories will always last
You may not be on earth but you are in our hearts
And you will live forever their

7.9.11

Amber R. Roan

Washed Away

Another old one, I don't know if it is up here already but w/e

Watch the rain roll off the window
Wash off what you just saw
A small swift move
And it's all gone

Wipe off the fog
It all comes undone
Like a ribbon in the wind
You'll never see it again

Close your eyes
Like a movie it plays
A cut in the film
Now it will never be the same

Listen to the rain hit the roof
Sounds like a off beat heart
Wait for the lighting
So just for a second you're not in the dark

9.27.10

Amber R. Roan

A Hero

Risk your life
To save one like mine
Reach out your hand
To those in need
Give the shirt off your back
Jump in the line of fire
Fight for people you do not know
Even the undeserving
Run into that burning house
Knowing you may never come back
Risk your life
To save one like mine
With no questions asked
Brave men and women
Who live as a sacrifice
A true hero
Who will always have our backs


3.15.11

Amber R. Roan

I Really Don't Know....

Just a few dif. ones I thought sounded cool together....

Read all together


Lock me up
Throw out the key
Let my rot in disparity
No pain no gain
That's what they say
Speak your words
You'll die in vain
Like a dam slowly cracking
Soon it will break
Flooding everything
So lock me up
Throw out the key
Let my rot in disparity
Drowning in your words
Surrounding me
For all of eternity

You spit your words out
With no effort
Caring not of who you hurt
Like a rich man
You take but do not give
Piece by piece
You rip it apart
And like paper, once it's been crumpled
It can never be perfect again
Your words are like dull knives
Don't cut deep
But leaving a sharp
Agonizing pain

My fantasies and dreams are two different things
But consume all the same
Life and death
Love and hate
A beautiful catastrophe
Lies mixed with the truth
Me, and you

Sweet Taste Of Sin

Your touch sends a rush
A rush that I lust
I want more, just can't get enough
Hold myself back
Trying so hard
You are a sin that digs deep into my skin

5.5.11

Amber R. Roan

Missing

Each star I tear off the wall,
Is a memory I let fall.

As I promise myself I'll be okay,
holding back tears that could flood the earth on its sunniest day
Everything falls, crashes to the floor like a priceless vase
Knocked over by child's play.
Pieces, all over the place
Not all kings men
Nor all the kings horses
Will be able to put it back together again

Sweep up the mess
Throw it all away
Into the sea of dead memories
Watch it wash away

Because not even forever can live on past the end
Like darkness flees from light
My demons consume my dreams

Like a freak train on the run
Now, a storm has begun

4.3.11


Amber R. Roan

A Life Taken

It's a little old but here it is...


His last words my name
Spoken so soft and sweet
My heart melted, aces
A pain like no other,
It hurts so much I can't feel it
Empty is the only feeling I seem to have left,
Though it's not really a feeling at all
His last words my name
On the weary night
The knife so sharp
The air so cold
His blood warm
My tears wet, like rain

Dec 22, 2010

Amber R. Roan

Past Forever

To say I love you is forever
And forever can never be
Because even forever has an end
And my love for you runs past forever into eternity

3.7.11


Amber R. Roan

Lock me up 
Throw out the key 
Let my rot in disparity 
No pain no gain
That's what they say
Speak your words
You'll die in vain 
Like a dam slowly cracking
Soon it will break
Flooding everything
So lock me up
Throw out the key 
Let my rot in disparity 
Drowning in your words
Surrounding me
For all of eternity 

Amber R. Roan
1.21.11

You spit your words out
With no effort 
Caring not of who you hurt
Like a rich man
You take but do not give 
Piece by piece 
You rip it apart
And like paper, once it's been crumpled 
It can never be perfect again
Your words are like dull knives 
Don't cut deep
But leaving a sharp 
Agonizing pain 


Amber R. Roan
1.21.11

Me and You

My fantasies and dreams are two different things
But consume all the same
Life and death
Love and hate
A beautiful catastrophe   
Lies mixed with the truth
Me, and you

Amber R. Roan
1.18.11

Let You Go Or Hold On Tight?

Because everything i do reminds me of you
Don't get me wrong,
I'm glad your gone 
But it's almost like I miss you
Maybe it's what we used to be
What we used to do
I'm just sick of thinking of you
You are as good as gone
As gone as last year
But some how
You're still here
If I could erase 
Make it go away
Edit the picture
Cut you out for good
Believe me, I would
Because everything I do reminds me of you
Don't get me wrong,
I'm glad your gone 
But it's almost like I miss you


Amber R. Roan
1.17.11

It's what's you keep inside
What you've kept lock away
That bleeds through your eyes
It's what you despise 
But can not hide 


Amber R. Roan
 1.19.11

A river runs deep
It glows a different shade of red 
A sweet smell fills the air
A bright light, glowing like fire 
I stand still, can't move
Yet it all gets closer 
A door, says not to enter
I walk through it with no effort
The river leads to a lake of unfortunate past mistakes
Started at the one simple vain
My blood boils beneath porcelain skin
Every scar rising to the surface again

Amber R. Roan
1.13.11

Lost In Time?

If I could rewind, just to see how it might have been
Different, the same?
If I could take back things I said
Words that should have never escaped
Tasted so right at the time
If I could go back
Show you what I really meant
When I said I can't live with out you
I didn't know I meant it this much
Over a year and I still miss you, your soft touch
I crave that feeling I used to get
Just by looking into your eyes
I play that song
Close my eyes
It all plays, it feels so real
I can smell you
Like you are right beside me
Why aren't you beside me
Slowly starting to fade
The picture becomes unclear
I don't want it to leave, disapear
If I could live in my thoughts...
But back to reality I must fall
If I could rewind, just to see
Would things be different?
If I could take back things I said
And show you what I really wanted to say
Would things be different
Is this, what this is, really what it's meant to be
Because something that is right
Shouldn't hurt
Not this much
It's called braking, it's broken
If I could rewind, just to see
Would we be different
Better or worse?
If I could rewind, just to see how it might have been
Different, the same?
If we had the chance would you take it?

Amber R. Roan
1.6.11