What I Can't Say Is What I will Never Know

I want to tell you
But can’t find the words.
I want to cry
But don’t know why.
As if your words aren’t enough,
To cut and cause pain.
I want to bleed
Just can’t find the knife.
This situation can’t get much worse.
I don’t get,
Why you hang on to something that isn’t there,
Why you stick around
When you don’t want to be here…
Like there is love in the air.
Breath in hate,
Like a sickness in the air
We take it all in.
Take over our mind,
Becomes the core of us all.
Smell the rain?
The storm has yet to begin.
Why you scream
I’ll never understand
What we did
To make you want to leave
I’ll never know
Why you haven’t left
Leaves me clueless
What lead to this
Why it happened
Why it can’t be fixed
…all questions
That will remain
Unanswered.

Amber R. Roan
8.2.10

Not Me, Not This Time

It’s crazy how this room spins this way
How your words echo like we are in an open space
How your whole attitude can change when you walk in this place
What I don’t get, is why you stay
It’s not because you love
I want to apologize...
For all I’ve done
It never was enough
I let it fall apart
…No!!!
This wasn’t me
Not this time
Look me in the eye
You have to know I tried
But I have nothing to be sorry for
Not this time
This was you
You let it happen
Didn’t even try to prevent it
Can you not see it
You’ve been blind
Blinded by your pride
Just stand there
Watch
Watch while we fall
Crash
To our
Oh so perfectly tragic
Not so beautiful
A lot less peaceful
Death
It’s crazy how this room spins this way
How your words echo like we are in an open space
How your whole attitude can change when you walk in this place
What I don’t get is why you stay
It’s not because you love