My actions loud, never speak

Because I put my feelings on paper
Because it is hard for me to just say
Because it never comes out right
You call me heartless
You've just never seen my heart
You have never seen what I mean to say
My eyes can tell you
My eyes can tell you what I can't say
My eyes are windows, a crystal ball
Still, you call me heartless
Because I don't always speak
Because my actions speak louder
Because what you see is what you get
Only the blind will never know
Only those in the dark can't see
Only your not blind, you see just fine
Still, you call me heartless
Because I put my feelings on paper
Because it is hard for me to just say
Because it never comes out right
You call me heartless


12.29.10
Amber R. Roan

I will fallow you into the dark
Even if it leads to the worst part of hell
I'll help you fight the demons
Kill those who get in the way
And slay the beast
I'll pick you up when you fall
Breathe life into you when you're at your last breath
I will fallow you into the dark
You need to know you are never alone
I will fallow you until you see the light
I will fallow you into the dark
Even if it leads to the worst part of hell



7.14.10
Amber R. Roan

My song, Your Heart Beat

Your like a song stuck in my head
Your words the lyrics
Like no other
No one could ever repeat
The rhythm, your heart beat
Each moment we spend together is another I lay awake
Thinking of all the future days
Until that one dark thought takes over it all
To impotent ash it falls
Tears fall like rain from the sky
If you leave
Tell it all good bye
Death with be the smell
Blood will be the taste
Of the none existent day
Your like a song stuck in my head
Your words the lyrics
Like no other
No one could ever repeat
The rhythm, your heart beat


Aug. 27, 2010
Amber R. Roan

My Heart For you

You'll never know how far I to go
To try and find what I keep locked inside
To show you the true meaning of every word I'll ever say
To write the beat of my heart on paper is the hardest thing

My one true love
I give it all to you
My hand in yours
Forever until the end
Our hearts beat as one
What a beautiful song

Walls crash down
Just by your whisper
A soft touch
I've become venerable
A beautiful butterfly
Cought in the spiders web
right under his fangs
Crazy thing is
I'm happy right where I am

You'll never know how far I to go
To try and find what I keep locked inside
To show you the true meaning of every word I'll ever say
To write the beat of my heart on paper is the hardest thing





8.30.10

Waiting For Light

Watch the rain roll off the window
Wash off what you just saw
A small swift move
And it's all gone

Wipe off the fog
It all comes undone
Like a ribbon in the wind
You'll never see it again

Close your eyes
Like a movie it plays
A cut in the film
Now it will never be the same

Listen to the rain hit the roof
Sounds like a off beat heart
Wait for the lighting
So just for a second you're not in the dark



9.27.10
Amber R. Roan

I'll love you forever

I'll hold on to this forever
I'll never let it go
My heart now in the shape of you
Nothing taking what has now become your place
I'll dance forever
To the beat of your drum
That soft constant beat
Mixed with mine
A melody, sweet song
Like no other
It is it's very own
I'll hold on to this forever
I'll never let it go
Taking a risk
The risk called love
I'll hold on to it forever
I'll never let you go



Dec. 6, 2010
Amber R. Roan

What I Can't Say Is What I will Never Know

I want to tell you
But can’t find the words.
I want to cry
But don’t know why.
As if your words aren’t enough,
To cut and cause pain.
I want to bleed
Just can’t find the knife.
This situation can’t get much worse.
I don’t get,
Why you hang on to something that isn’t there,
Why you stick around
When you don’t want to be here…
Like there is love in the air.
Breath in hate,
Like a sickness in the air
We take it all in.
Take over our mind,
Becomes the core of us all.
Smell the rain?
The storm has yet to begin.
Why you scream
I’ll never understand
What we did
To make you want to leave
I’ll never know
Why you haven’t left
Leaves me clueless
What lead to this
Why it happened
Why it can’t be fixed
…all questions
That will remain
Unanswered.

Amber R. Roan
8.2.10

Not Me, Not This Time

It’s crazy how this room spins this way
How your words echo like we are in an open space
How your whole attitude can change when you walk in this place
What I don’t get, is why you stay
It’s not because you love
I want to apologize...
For all I’ve done
It never was enough
I let it fall apart
…No!!!
This wasn’t me
Not this time
Look me in the eye
You have to know I tried
But I have nothing to be sorry for
Not this time
This was you
You let it happen
Didn’t even try to prevent it
Can you not see it
You’ve been blind
Blinded by your pride
Just stand there
Watch
Watch while we fall
Crash
To our
Oh so perfectly tragic
Not so beautiful
A lot less peaceful
Death
It’s crazy how this room spins this way
How your words echo like we are in an open space
How your whole attitude can change when you walk in this place
What I don’t get is why you stay
It’s not because you love

Puppet Master

You sit and waste your life away
All these pointless things
You are stuck on strings
Can’t you think for yourself
Your actions,
Based on what you see
Stuck in their gravitational pull

Like a doll
Let others control your every move
Move only when you are told
I think I’ll call you Raggedy Ann
Now let them devour the rest of your soul

Have you lost all since of control
Your mind, has it escaped
You sit and waste your life away
A puppet on strings
Live the same everyday

You know there is better
But this is all you have ever known
Try and reach out
Just to see the other side
But not hard enough
Like demons they pull you back in
Your stuck with them

You sit and waste your life away
All these pointless things
You are stuck on strings
Too weak to cut them yourself


Amber R. Roan
7.30.10



Who are you letting control you life?
1 Peter 1: 13 -14
13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.

Your voice like thunder
Echoing in my head
Like every word you’ve ever said
Flashbacks like lightning
So bright and clear
You said you’d always be there
But you’ve disappeared
Yet your words were true
My tears fall like rain
Sweet drops of sorrow
Rolling down my face
A race to see whom I will taste
or Crash to the floor like a broken vase
Each one brings memories
From all the days
Soft winds turn to a hurricane
Tornadoes stirring up old dust
Fogging up my mind
Of what I thought was lost
Your voice like thunder
Echoes in my head
Like every word you’ve ever said
Flashbacks like lightning
A window peering into the past


Amber R. Roan
7.25.10





No, it's not about a guy...ex or anything like that.
Just take this one as you see it.

Get it?

You still don’t get it do you
I thought I ended it
Ended us for good
But then you come back around
Just as you always do
You always right there
All at the wrong time
Take you back, again
Now your leaving, again
I can’t play this game anymore
It hurts worse each time
You still don’t get it do you
I never say it
But I know you see it
Everyone else does
But you still don’t get it
I’m wasting my time
I can feel it
But I can’t help it
Get it now?
It always happens this way
And it always ends the same

Amber R. Roan
< / 3

12:02am
7.10.10


I’m sure you can guess…

See Clear

What's to think when every things a blur
When you're looking through drunk eyes
Not even what's in front of you can you be sure of
Maybe it's 37 separate pictures all mashed into one
What you see shouldn't be done
Walking around like a blind man with no dog
Running into walls
Missing signs of all kinds
And little details that might had done some good
What's to think when every things a blur
When you’re looking through drunk eyes
All you see is colored smudges combined into one
Take some time to let it clear
So all the hidden details can appear
What’s to think when every things a blur
When you’re looking through drunk eyes

Amber R. Roan
8:47pm

Storm

Her tears like rain, your voice like thunder playing in her head
Memories of you like flashes of lighting
When will this storm end
Everything reminds her of you.
You talk to her about this other girl all the time,
She is glad your happy
She just wish she was too, but is so far from it
You’re all she wants, everything she needs is in you
She lays awake crying, trying to clear her head of you,
but you interrupt her every thought
Her tears like rain, your voice like thunder, memories of you like lighting
Going blind, all she sees is you
It’s killing her, this not being with you
She can’t breath when you’re not with her
Nothing feels right with your arms not around her
Her tears like rain, your voice like thunder echoing in her head
The memories of you like flashes of lighting causing more pain
When will the storm end

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. It’s not new, I wrote it about a year ago. I hate it but KCR said I should put it up here.

Dream Big

If the room was filled with ghost
Would I still feel so alone
If I were surrounded by sprits
Would the flame still be this hot
If angels were to lift me up
Would I get to see your sweet face

Tell me if I am wasting my time
Dreaming of better days
When war is a thing in the past
Hurt no longer exist
When pain isn't even a thought in mind
Tell me if I am wasting my time
Dreaming of days
When angels and demons are the same
No such thing as evil
When love is our occupation
Hate is no longer our game

Am I crazy
For thinking of such things
Tell me if I've lost my mind
Or stuck in an alternate world
Is this really how it will be
Forever until the end

Maybe my dreams are big
But could they be to small
Perhaps we will never know
We’re to busy killing our souls
Working at things we know will never become
Stop to take the well deserved break
And think
What’s becoming of this place

If the room was filled with ghost
Would I still feel so alone
If I were surrounded by sprits
Would the flame still be this hot
If angels were to lift me up
Would I get to see your sweet face

Tell me if I am wasting my time
Dreaming
If all we have in mind
Is an illusion for our time


Amber R. Roan.





This poem is about a normal man who has a dream for the world. He wants all bad things to vanish, war and hate to subside, for all things good to be insink with love in mind. But he feels alone, as if he is the only one with this dream. Lets break part of this down....


“ If the room was filled with ghost
Would I still feel so alone
If I were surrounded by sprits
Would the flam still be this hot
If angels were to lift me up
Would I get to see your sweet face”

Seems a little random and out of place?
Well see if this help at all….

“If the room was filled with ghost Would I still feel so alone“ …Meaning if he had others with the same dream, or something similar to his he wouldn’t feel so alone.

“If I were surrounded by sprits Would the flam still be this hot” …This meaning if others were on his side would the pressure cool down?

And “If angels were to lift me up Would I get to see your sweet face” …This he says meaning if angels were to come down and his prayers be answered, would he see his dream come true.

Not so random now, is it?